Trying the Best We Can
by Lt.Gungirl
Summary: Sort of an Alternate Ending story focusing on Roy and Gracia coping with separate losses together. NO ROMANTIC PAIRING just a little friendship and a promise to do right by Maes. Oneshot to give a brief glimpse at where they would be if Riza had died in the tunnels and Roy never got his sight back.


**A/N: I wish there was more about these two as friends coping with loss. I think they would probably strike up sort of relationship if for no other reason than to ensure Elicia knows about her father and to maybe ease the guilt. Please let me know what you think!**

Roy Mustang sat alone in silence. The loud cuckoo clock that chimed in the corner told him it was time. As expected the knock at the door thay sounded right after the imitation bird call died.

With the expertise of knowing his way around the apartment he walked through the darkness that was his world and found the door as Black Hayate yapped in excitement. He undid the latch and then turned the knob.

"Uncle Roy!" Elicia Hughes now nine years old greeted. He stepped back smiling.

"Right on time." He said as Gracia Hughes came in after her.

"Hey Roy, I meant to stop and get your drycleaning but we left the house late. Elicia can walk you down to the shop if that's ok with you?" Her warm gentle voice was ever full of the kindness she spread.

No wonder Maes Hughes had loved her so much. Roy knew he didn't deserve her help like this. But it was impossible to say no when they put so much work into coming and checking up on him. This was the part of the week he looked forward to the most. It was also the moment he dreaded the most.

With the presence of the Hughes family he always felt the guilt and sorrow bubble up to the surface and try to choke him. He knew that Gracia must feel the same way. The two were connected by the same factor.

Gracia also knew how it felt to lose a loved one in battle. And that made it harder because neither one was willing to sit down and actually talk about the tragedies of their lives. Instead they pretended they were ok and she took care of him while he told Elicia about her father.

The door shut and Roy felt the air with his hands before walking back into the living room of his apartment. "We can do that." Roy assured as if it were no big deal.

"Good, cause I found a new place to go for dinner today." Elicia chimed in as she stopped petting the excited dog.

"Oh?" Roy asked. "What kind of restaurant?"

"You'll have to wait until we get there." Elicia said slyly.

Roy chuckled as Gracia set the heavy groceries down. "How are you today Roy?" She asked.

"You know me." Roy rubbed the back of his neck and followed her voice into the kitchen. The darkness mocked him as he tried to imagine how the woman looked these days. After all it had been several years. He wondered what Elicia looked like too.

"You shouldn't blame yourself." Gracia said gently. "The things that happened that day were out of your control."

"But I let the one person who trusted me the most down." Roy murmured. He reached out and grasped the back of a chair and carefully seated himself on it.

"That wasn't your fault. Among all the good you did that day you can't blame yourself for one person's death." Gracia continued taking the seat across from him.

"If it were anyone else maybe." He said gritting his teeth at the memories threatening to overtake him. "But I lost _her_." He choked.

"I know how you feel. And I tried to blame myself for what happened to Maes, I told myself if he hadn't found love he wouldn't have been so adamant on protecting the nation."

Roy snorted. "His death rests on my hands as well." He frowned deeply. "I've killed good people with my dreams." He whispered bitterly.

"Don't say that." Her hands grasped one of his tightly. "Your dreams saved every single person living in this country. Without your scheming and orchestration of the coop that day we would have never survived that monster." She reminded. "You are a hero, you still are because you still help those who need you."

Roy's brow furrowed deeper. What did she mean? She was here to help him. Every wednesday she came over and cleaned his apartment while he walked with Elicia. She prepared several meals for him, brought fresh groceries, took care of his drycleaning, and filled the empty void in his life. Sure Havoc and Breda visited when they could, and on the rare occasion the Fuhrer would personally send for him. But he was utterly alone with only the dog to fill up the missing space.

When Riza Hakwkeye died on that cold concrete floor with her parting message a signal for 'try human transmutation and I will kill you one way or another' something deep inside him had shattered forever. He'd failed her so miserably. And then they had still found a way to force him. It wasn't long before he was blind and broken.

Now he lived in loneliness trying not to blame himself and hoping that wherever she is she will forgive him for failing her. Because not only was she gone, his dream had been stripped as well. No Riza and no vision. He had been subjected to letting everyone around him take over his dream.

"Elicia." Gracia's soft voice broke his chain of thoughts.

"Huh?" He asked wishing he could see her eyes so he knew what she meant.

"My daughter loves coming here to see you." She explained. "My husband may be gone, but you've given her something in return. I feel like he's not so far away when we're with you. He talked about you so much. Everytime you tell her the stories about her father, she learns a little more about the man he was. I can hardly speak about him after almost seven years. Elicia will be ten next year. I can't give her the advice or the experienced knowledge you can. She needed a father figure when I offered to come and help you out. You've already done so much, she talks about you the way her father used to."

Gacia paused and Roy nodded in understanding. How had he been so oblivious to this fact? He was still doing something. Maybe it was something selfish, or maybe it was something he had no business doing with Hughes' blood on his hands. But he did go out of his way to tell Elicia about him, and she did ask him questions that she should be asking her own father. He always listened and gave what advice he could.

"Not only that but I know you have her guns in a case in your closet and you have Black Hayate." She continued now less shaky. "You took her dog because you felt you owed it to her. And I can accept that. He's all you have left of her I know, but he's happy with you and well taken care of."

"But I was supposed to protect her." He ground out.

"And it's ok. Maybe I'm not Riza, but I try my best and I can tell that right now you're depressed. I want you to go out with Elicia and forget the tragedies that haunt us. Tell yourself it's not that bad and pick your feet up. Everyone shoulders their own burdens, but we can free ourselves if we just choose to set them down."

For a moment the ex-soldier thought he had heard his best friend talking. "You sound like Maes." Roy murmured smiling.

"He talked like that a lot." She admitted.

Elicia stepped in. "Uncle Roy? We better hurry if we want to pick up your clothes."

"Coming." Roy replied smiling. He stood up slowly. "Thank you Gracia. I hadn't thought of it like that."

"I have to tell you that I worried about you so much. Maes told me how much you blame yourself. I never imagined it was that far."

Roy sighed heavily. He was really an idiot wasn't he? "You don't have to worry about me," He whispered. "I think I finally understand it all now."

Elicia, who had inherited her father's impatience, grabbed his hand and tugged. "Come on Uncle Roy!" She whined.

"Alright let's go." He surrendered to her.

Roy let her pull him out the door smirking as they went. Hayate yipped in excitement at the chance to go on a walk. The man, the girl, and the dog left Gracia alone to do her chores.

"I know you're both there watching us. And I know it must be hard to see us suffer alone. But we aren't alone. We have each other, even if just being next to the other dregs up the pain. I know I'm not the best substiute Riza, and he isn't the ideal substitue for Maes. But I think we need this, beacuse I couldn't stand to watch Elicia grow up without a father, and I also can't watch that man die alone with so much guilt in him. Forgive us for not letting you two go." She whispered fresh tears welling in her eyes.

"But it's just so hard to keep living for those around us when a simple choice could put us in your arms again." She choked on a sob. "Wait for us a little longer, we're trying the best we can."


End file.
